A Sexy Scoop

Chewing Gum

It’s happened to us all. We’ve had a fight with our loved one, we’ve insisted they perform oral sex on us to make things right again, only to find ourselves in a sticky situation the next morning. Chewing gum. In our pubic hair. Our partners have accidentally (or intentionally) dropped their chewing gum into our pubic hair, and it’s got so stuck that it looks like we need to use scissors to snip it out.

What do you do? Ask Scoop.

Sixty-Nine

Look, OK. We get it. Sixty-nines are confusing. Someone’s upside down, you’ve got junk in your face, you’ve got a very delicate task to perform. It’s a nightmare. It’s a wonder that anyone ever thought it was a sensible way to pass time. But thankfully Scoop has mastered the technique – and he’s on hand to draw you a diagram of exactly how to please your woman, as his wife looks on with an indescribable look of confusion.

Keep watching to see Scoop demonstrate the position of the side sixty-nine.

Finger Food

This is the pièce de résistance. Fatman Scoop’s opus. His Mona Lisa, his Godfather trilogy, his Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1.

Fatman Scoop teaches you how to finger a woman, using a honeydew melon as a fake vagina.

Watch as he slices the front off it with a knife!
Gasp as he slips two fingers in, describing his grip like a ‘bowling ball’!
Cross your legs and hope to die as he starts chanting “Up, up, up, up”!

If Channel 5 can’t find a suitable vehicle for him after Celebrity Big Brother is done, we’ll do it. Scoop – hit us up.